I have been admonished to pursue success and my fullest potential in the ways of career, wealth, and worldly accomplishment. I have felt the weight of my failures to meet the expectations others have of me, and wept bitterly. I have now brought the matter to our Maker.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate my care about worldly acclaim at level ZERO.
My success? When I see my mother smile and laugh, and have a conversation with her about something reasonably normal, I feel encouraged that maybe I haven't wasted all these years preserving my relationship with her, contrary to conventional wisdom. After all those decades of schizophrenia, the relationship I have with my mother is more precious to me than any raise or promotion. What kind of husband and father would I be? I am of this caliber.
I now get to be the son I didn't get to be, during all those years I was desperately trying to avoid the disapproval of authority figures, and rendered guilty of the crime of being male during my formative years. I get to be the brother I didn't get to be. I am even blessed to have been looked upon as a father figure by one young lady. What wealth would I trade for any of these? None. These are the weightier matters of my life, and the rest is vanity. These make for happy reunions in the next life--the treasures in Heaven we lay up for ourselves.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate my care about worldly acclaim at level ZERO.
My success? When I see my mother smile and laugh, and have a conversation with her about something reasonably normal, I feel encouraged that maybe I haven't wasted all these years preserving my relationship with her, contrary to conventional wisdom. After all those decades of schizophrenia, the relationship I have with my mother is more precious to me than any raise or promotion. What kind of husband and father would I be? I am of this caliber.
I now get to be the son I didn't get to be, during all those years I was desperately trying to avoid the disapproval of authority figures, and rendered guilty of the crime of being male during my formative years. I get to be the brother I didn't get to be. I am even blessed to have been looked upon as a father figure by one young lady. What wealth would I trade for any of these? None. These are the weightier matters of my life, and the rest is vanity. These make for happy reunions in the next life--the treasures in Heaven we lay up for ourselves.
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