Thursday, August 4, 2011

Prayer

I believe God hears and answers my prayers. Even though I don't see, hear, or detect God with my five senses, I am still not met with awkward silence when I pour my heart out to Him. He understands me.

Sometimes I need to talk and need help with pain or trauma from childhood. I have been to many therapists and ecclesiastical leaders, rehashing my story repeatedly. When I've talked with friends and family, my hurting creates distance and alienation. I feel inclined to withdraw, and only talk with others about fluffy, funny, crowd-pleasing things. That feels like a cheap reduction, and makes my heart sick. I so need community, connection, and love, but it seems those things are for the admired, talented, and more emotionally intelligent than I. I try to give and be helpful to others, but my brokenness comes across.

The true friends and family I do have are evidence to me that God mercifully answers my prayers.  

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