I've stressed myself out pretty good recently, attempting to deal with all these repressed hurt feelings and insecurities. I've been to many therapists and ecclesiastical leaders for guidance. I sought approval of adults when I was a kid, and acceptance among peers as an adult. I obviously haven't really accepted myself as I am. Of all that I've tried to help myself over the years, simple honest prayers and some ponderance of scripture have done the most good.
There's a story in John 5:1-9 about a pool in Jerusalem named Bethesda, where people who were sick with palsy, blindness, and all kinds of ills would wait for an angel to reach down and gently ripple the surface of the water. The first sufferer to touch the water would be miraculously healed. Verse 5 says, "a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years." I am thirty-eight this year. My father lived to be thirty-eight. Maybe that means something.
Jesus apporached the man, knowing he had been there so long. He asked, "Wilt thou be made whole?" The man explained that someone always got to the pool ahead of him. Others were faster than him, and got the healing they needed before he did. Jesus raised the man up with a few words: "Rise, take up thy bed, and walk." I need some of that.
I don't want to wallow any more, protesting cruelties and unfairness. I want to write and speak all the talks in church I've never gotten to give, and may never. In daily life, I'll use words only when it's time for them.
There's a story in John 5:1-9 about a pool in Jerusalem named Bethesda, where people who were sick with palsy, blindness, and all kinds of ills would wait for an angel to reach down and gently ripple the surface of the water. The first sufferer to touch the water would be miraculously healed. Verse 5 says, "a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years." I am thirty-eight this year. My father lived to be thirty-eight. Maybe that means something.
Jesus apporached the man, knowing he had been there so long. He asked, "Wilt thou be made whole?" The man explained that someone always got to the pool ahead of him. Others were faster than him, and got the healing they needed before he did. Jesus raised the man up with a few words: "Rise, take up thy bed, and walk." I need some of that.
I don't want to wallow any more, protesting cruelties and unfairness. I want to write and speak all the talks in church I've never gotten to give, and may never. In daily life, I'll use words only when it's time for them.
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